A satirical state of mind

Katharhynn Heidelberg

Daily Press News Editor

RIDGWAY - The pages that brought PETA and the pro-life movement together - and offered thousands of other hilarious send-ups since 1977 - will fold after legions of fans close their issue of the San Juan Horseshoe this month.

In an announcement seemingly ripped from the headlines ofŠwell, the Horseshoe, publisher Kevin Haley is closing the monthly satirical paper to move to Uruguay.

"I think satire is a beautiful art and I'm still working at it," Haley, who began the Horseshoe in June of 1977 as an experiment, said Thursday. "To me, it's more valid than straight news reporting."

There are two reasons for that kind of statement. One is, people like to laugh, particularly when humanity and its institutions fail. Two, said Haley, "There's such a credible source of nonsense out there."

Haley was working on a ranch near Ridgway when he decided to give that nonsense a home. "I figured I'd do it three issues in the summer to see if it worked. I thought it did, but it didn't really."

A good thing, then, that labors of love are blind. The Horseshoe gave Haley an outlet that allowed him to escape the "pubescent corporatism" he'd experienced working in the newsrooms of larger papers, the bureaucracy of which he despised. "It was like working for the government, almost," he said.

The Horseshoe gave its hometown of Ridgway and surrounding environs something to smile about without taking it too seriously.

"I hope that's what it was," Haley said. "You don't want to be preachy when doing humor. If they (readers) can just smile, even, you've done it. We're not trying to effect major change, or thinking that because we have access to a printing press that we have any more right to exert our opinion than anyone else does."

Haley, as sole proprietor, did the bulk of the work, which he admitted could distract him from the writing end of the business. "It would be nice to have a secretary, but I'm too greedy for that," he said.

That's not to say he didn't have help. Haley praised the fine madness of his cohorts, Merry Joy Martin (also the author of "The Corpse on Boomerang Road") and John Summers, a.k.a. Slagman, P.I.

Several artists have also helped the Horseshoe carve its unique niche, among them, Haley's daughter, Meghan; Steve Johannsen and Bob de Julio.

Haley's grateful to them, too, for a pretty simple reason: "I can't draw flies after a basketball game in Olathe in August," he said.

Besides which, the American Legion in Silverton might get annoyed. Haley said the organization uses the Horseshoe's cover art in coloring contests that help wile away the long winter hours. "They get mad at me if it (cover) is a photo," Haley said.

Satire, however, is not a free-for-all. There are things that, though funny, cross lines he'd rather toe, and these never make it into print. "I don't feel like encouraging backlash from a group that has the right to be left alone," he said. "It's more fun to make fun of yourself, creating characters that are just ridiculous. They're satires of people you've met, but they're not the people."

Satire, he said, is a form of comic relief, one that can be done at his leisure. And, writing satire is more interesting than most of the straight news to be had in the area.

Too, he said, the satirist must be even more factually accurate than a journalist working in regular news. Horseshoe articles, despite the appearance to the contrary, are carefully researched. "I like to do embellished history, stories of here," he said. "They're totally ridiculous, but all the facts are right."

Haley especially enjoys lampooning what is already absurd. "Probably my favorite type of stories are about the people who invent things or have this ridiculous hobby," he said, citing the example of a Crested Butte woman who made clothes out of her parking tickets and a man who created a "replica of Gettysburg" with mashed potatoes.

Then there are the bogus classified ads, like this one: "Sick of mowing your lawn? We can help. Discreet Concrete, Sapinero."

"You can be ridiculous with those," Haley said.

What gave Haley ideas for nearly 30 years?

Showing up and paying attention.

"I probably get half my ideas when I'm out selling advertising," Haley said. "I'm already in the mode when I'm trying to get creative. You just pay attention. You have to."

Haley eschews television news, but avidly reads magazines and newspapers and listens to National Public Radio.

The Horseshoe's horoscopes, however, require a unique talent: "I'm omnipresent," he said.

It doesn't hurt that readers and advertisers alike are up for a good joke. "For a rural area, they are pretty professional in how they do their business," he said. "I also think the readership around here, for a rural readership, is pretty highly educated and well read. ŠYou don't have to spoon feed them anything."

Financially, the paper had its up and downs, Haley said, but it provided him with a living and he always found plenty of business. Additionally, he loves the area and all of the characters he's met.

"This is a good place for people like me," he said. "You can be a little eccentric and get away with it. You have lots of company."

Why cease publication, then? "The price of gasoline - well, no, but that would be a funny thing to say. I just want to do something new," Haley said. He said that, at the age of 56, he'd been publishing the Horseshoe so long it was no longer much challenge.

"It's become more of a formula than I wanted it to be," he said. "I just wanted to see if I can actually write in a different way."

Haley will be writing freelance for newspapers and magazines while in Uruguay, whose beautiful beaches and low cost of living beckon. He also hopes to work on a book about Colorado in the 1890s, compile a collection of short stories and possibly pick up extra money - and additional Spanish - by teaching English. He heads out, via Buenos Aires, on Halloween.

But that's not to say he might not be back.

"I did think of selling (the Horseshoe), but I'm not sure how to market it," he said. "And maybe I want to keep it. Maybe I'll come back and do it again, maybe once a year."

Until that time, readers will pine for the most credible source of nonsense in Colorado.

Contact Katharhynn Heidelberg via e-mail at katharhynnh@montrosepress.com