Montrose - Daily Press

Bill Swaim

And One More Thing ...

Warning: Reading this column may cause vomiting, constipation, bleeding, clotting, infection, cramps, ulcers, rashes, urinary and renal failure, abnormal heart rate, stroke, or heart attack.

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With all of these wonderful symptoms and side effects, why would you want to continue reading?

I’ve sort of wondered the same thing when it came to all these new prescription drugs that can be a cure all to certain things that effect us in our every day lives. Things such as allergies, depression, erectile dysfunction, cholesterol and acid reflux.

The question is, what’s worse, living with these ailments or some of the side effects you may have to go through just to experience some relief?

What ails me is something I didn’t even know they had a name for until I saw a commercial recently offering up a remedy — Restless Leg Syndrome.

Yep, I always just thought I was overly excited like a puppy dog waiting for a chew toy. Instead, I apparently have Restless Leg Syndrome or RLS for short.

My legs are always bouncing. At work, at home and more annoyingly for my wife, in bed at night. I’ve gotten used to it so I can sleep fine through it, I hardly even notice it. But for my wife, it’s like having one of those cheap, vibrating motel beds you always see in the movies. The good thing, I’m saving her the 50 cents it would cost for such a service.

So my solution: Requip, the first FDA-approved medication for the treatment of RLS.

But is Requip right for me?

It sounds right until you get to the potential side effects, much like the ones mentioned previously. In that case, I’d rather just have my wife strap my legs together or give me the polite nudge to hold still.

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And One More Thing …

According to the Associated Press, officials in New Mexico found another way to deter drunk-driving: Talking urinal cakes.

Yes, New Mexico is hoping to keep drunks off the road by lecturing them at the last place they stop before getting behind the wheel.

The state paid $21 each for 500 talking urinal deodorizer cakes and has put them in bars and restaurants across the state.

When a man steps up, the motion-sensitive plastic device says, in a woman’s voice that is flirty, then stern: “Hey, big guy. Having a few drinks? Think you had one too many? Then it’s time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home.”

The recorded message ends: “Remember, your future is in your hand.”

These will sure be an attention getter, which may be the point, but also a little disturbing. What’s next? Talking urinal advertising?

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