MONTROSE — Fathers’ Day provides the chance to recognize and appreciate the positive impact that fathers can have, but not everyone is endowed with the skills and knowledge necessary play that role up to their full potential.
That is what the new Montrose County Health and Human Services program Empowering Dads is looking to change as it mentors fathers and provides them with any resources they might need.
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The program, which includes two full-time fatherhood coaches and one part-time coach, began in January and is currently helping over 50 fathers in one way or another.
“It kinda fills a gap for us in many ways; we had a lot of programs that are focused on women and children but very few, in fact none that actively reach out and target fathers in the county,” said John Merritt, Health and Human Services program manager. “So this is a program that the target group is fathers. It’s not limited to fathers but that’s our target group.”
One of the ways in which Empowering Dads looks to teach good parenting skills is through a class, open to both fathers and mothers, in which ineffective discipline and role-modeling strategies are replaced with ones recommended by leading researchers in the field.
“Empowering Dads is about finding services to help dads become reunited with their kids. A lot of dads just do not know how to communicate with their ex-spouses, with their children, and how to be reunited and develop that relationship, and that’s what our class is about,” said Jackie Robirds, supervisor for the Community Support Program and instructor of a ten-week class that concluded on Wednesday.
The class had around ten parents attend regularly, covering many diverse topics such as family values, developing rules, handling stress and behavior management.
During a typical class, the parents would watch video clips and discuss proper behavior, and then meet up with their children, who were playing and having a class of their own in another room. They would then have “nurturing time,” where the families would eat dinner together, sing songs and do other activities that would help them practice proper interaction. After that time, parents and children would again separate for their own classes.
“I think the success of this particular parenting class is because we have classes for the kids, and we have classes for the adults,” said Robirds. “Many parents don’t know how to interact with their kids, and we, actually during the nurturing time, eat together... It’s important for them to eat with their kids.”
Angie Lewis, who attended the class with her three daughters, said the skills she has learned have already made a positive impact on her children.
“They are very well behaved now,” Lewis said. “I learned how yelling doesn’t help a whole lot, it just makes them yell more.”
While the short-term goals are for parents to learn more appropriate discipline and bonding techniques, the big picture includes the children’s well being many years down the road.
“The results we’re looking for are kids not dropping out of school, to keep them away from drugs, to help them to be successful community participants,” said Robirds, noting preventing negative behavior starts when the children are young.
Outside of the formal classes, fatherhood coaches are available to dads for a variety of services. Coaches may provide counseling, mentoring on parental functions or sharing other available resources.
The topics of coaching run “the full gamut of parenting skills, it’s more of chance of sitting down with the dad and asking ‘what can I do to help?’” said Martin. “It’s also an opportunity for fathers to work with a good role model, someone to offer good tips.”
The concept behind Empowering Dads began in 2001 when Merritt and Cherrie Schlauger, of the Child Support office, decided to start a support group for fathers. The group met on and off for three years, but since it was not funded and was only after-hours, eventually participation fizzled.
In 2005, they realized that there was federal money available in grants for programs targeted at fathers, so Merritt applied in Spring 2006 and the program was awarded a grant by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The grant money, which amounts to $250 thousand a year for five years, was released beginning in January.
“We felt like with our experience with our fathers group that there was a need for fathers to have resources and information,” Merritt said.
Merritt added that apart from the paid positions, Empowering Dads is welcoming any volunteers who wish to help guide fathers through parenthood.
“We would certainly welcome people who are interested in the community in being mentors... I think we could use the help with mentoring and extra hands for the education sessions and workshops,” said Merritt.
Anyone interested in the program should call the Health and Human Services office at 252-5000.
Contact John Deneen via e-mail at johnd@montrosepress.com
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