Montrose - Daily Press

MONTROSE — Domestic violence isn't always cut and dried. Nor is it always between adults.

As reported by CNN, a survey released in July by Liz Claiborne, Inc. and loveisrepsect.org found 69 percent of teens who were sexually active by age 14 reported relationship abuse. One in five younger teens reported they had friends or peers who have been abused by a girlfriend or boyfriend.

The dynamics of teen dating violence are similar to the dynamics of violent relationships between adults, Becky Ela of Tri County Resource Center said.

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The center is highlighting teen dating violence and other forms of domestic abuse as part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month in October.

"It's establishing control over someone else. That's the same as it is with adults," Ela said. "I think teen dating violence, as it gets more media coverage, people are recognizing it more. But I'm not sure people feel it's as big of an issue as it is. It can set up young women and young men for being in those unhealthy relationships."

Exposure to physical, mental or sexual abuse by an intimate partner at an early age can harm kids' perception of what makes a healthy relationship.

"They think that's possibly the norm of a healthy relationship, then that will be acceptable to them in their relationships as they get older and then, they're more likely to be in abusive relationships when they're adults," Ela said. "That (abuse) is what they know. Which is frightening."

Ela said the resource center, which serves Montrose, Delta and Ouray counties, doesn't break down its statistics to show how many cases involve teen dating violence.

"Where it's an issue is actually in the schools, and teens coming to school counselors. The statistics for teen violence are really high," she said.

The school district's health curriculum deals with teen dating violence as does the annual teen sexuality workshop offered to sophomores, spokeswoman Linda Gann said.

Neither instructors nor the school resource officer could be reached for comment.

"Unfortunately, there's not a lot of difference" between teen and adult relationship violence, Montrose Police Chief Tom Chinn said.

"You have a maturity level there. You would hope people who would have relationships that don't wind up into domestic violence."

Domestic violence in general remains a problem in the tri-county area, Ela said, but it wasn't possible to tell whether the caseload was the result of more violence or simply more victims coming forward.

"That's the magic question," she said. "I wish I had the answer."

The resource center can be reached at 249-2486 in Montrose and 874-4941 in Delta. In Ouray, call 626-3777.

For additional information about domestic violence and how to help, see the sidebars.

Facts about teen dating violence

• Dating abuse isn’t an argument every once in a while, or a bad mood after a bad day. It’s a pattern of controlling behavior that someone uses against a girlfriend or boyfriend.

• It isn’t always to see early signs of violence in a relationship. Even if teens do recognize it, they might not know what to do and might be fearful or confused about the outcome of seeking help.

• Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship report their boyfriends threatened violence or self-harm when presented with a break-up.

• 13 percent of teenage girls who have been in a relationship report being physically hurt or hit.

• 1 in 4 teenage girls who have been in a relationship report being pressured into sexual intimacy. The same percentage of girls report repeated verbal abuse by their partner.

• 1 in 3 girls in a serious relationship report having been concerned about being physically harmed by their partner.

• About 1 in 3 high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship

• 40 percent of girls between 14 and 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.

• Date rape accounted for 67 percent of sexual assaults reported on a survey of teen and college students.

• For more information about teen dating violence, visit www.loveisrespect.org

Information courtesy Tri County Resource Center and Liz Claiborne, Inc., with Teen Research Unlimited.

Some warning signs of dating violence

Are you going out with someone who:

Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?

Is jealous and possessive?

Won’t let you have friends?

Discourages you from spending time with friends and family?

Won’t accept a break-up?

Tries to order you around, makes all the decisions and doesn’t take your opinions seriously?

Puts you down in front of friends or tells you that you would be nothing without him or hr?

Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?

Scares you?

Has a history of fighting, or loses temper quickly?

Grabs, pushes, shoves or hits you?

You could be at risk for dating violence. Call the Tri-County Resource Center  at 249-2486 or 874-4941 for support if you are concerned about your relationship or have checked any of the items in this list.

It is illegal for someone you are dating to use physical force against you. Help is available from adults you can trust; your teachers, counselors and school resource officers.

Source: Tri-County Resource Center

 

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