The Brown-Fenty incident caused the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence to theme this October's domestic violence awareness month around teen dating violence.
"A lot of adults, like parents, aren't aware that it's happening," said Becky Ela, program coordinator for the Tri-County Resource Center. "One of the things about teens now is they're so much more tech-savvy. They can communicate on the fly and parents don't even know. I see that as a really big issue with teens and dating now — that wasn't even available 20 years ago."
|
Advertisement |
Ela said preliminary tracking numbers indicate teen dating violence is on the rise locally. She expects those numbers to increase even more, as awareness about the problem spreads.
According to the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 5 percent of domestic violence victims are between the ages of 13 and 17. Fourteen percent are in their late teens, or young adults (ages 18 to 24). Victims can be either direct recipients of abuse, or indirectly affected by abuse against another person in their home.
The younger the teen, the less likely he or she is to know what is and is not a healthy relationship founded on mutual respect, as opposed to a relationship founded on control, or even physical violence.
"If they're being told what to do, or who they can talk to, or what they should wear (by a dating partner), that may raise a red flag, but since they are in their first relationship, they may not be aware that shouldn't happen. The red flag may not be big enough," Ela said.
One of the things kids need to combat dating violence is a trusted adult they can confide in when their relationship does not feel right.
A society-wide attitude adjustment is also necessary in many cases, she said.
Brown was ultimately sentenced to five years of probation and 1,400 hours of labor-oriented community service for assaulting Fenty in February. According to CNN, a probation report stated Brown and Fenty were involved in two other domestic violence incidents before his headline-grabbing arrest.
Even so, some of Brown's fans blamed Fenty for the assault, with a survey of Boston teens showing 46 percent believed it was her fault. On Larry King Live, Brown would blame the media for driving them apart and liken the relationship to Romeo and Juliet.
"The whole notion she deserved it was a myth," Ela said. "No one deserves to be beaten for any reason, whether it's a woman or a man. Violence as a way to solve problems isn't OK in any realm."
She said too often, society asks the wrong question. "When someone's beaten like her, we ask, 'What did she do?' instead of saying, 'It's his issue.' Why aren't we saying, 'Why is he beating her?' instead of 'She deserved it'?"
Teens who think they are in an abusive relationship should seek out a trusted adult or call the resource center's crisis lines at 249-2486 in Montrose; 874-4941 in Delta or 626-3777 in Ouray.
Tri-County Resource Center's business office can be reached at 249-8345.
The center helps everyone with a domestic violence issue, not just those who have reported to the police.
Resources and tips are available at loveisrespect.org and the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline can be reached at 1- (866) 331-9474 or 1- (866)-331-8453 text telephone for the hearing impaired.
The Daily Press is planning additional coverage of domestic violence topics in an upcoming edition.
A healthy relationship is:
• Treating each other with respect
• Enjoying one another
• Freely voicing thoughts, feelings, and opinions
• Equality of needs
• Having the freedom to spend time with family and friends
• Making mutual decisions
• Responsibility for your own choices
Warning signs of an unhealthy relationship:
• Controlling behavior
• Extreme jealousy
• Explosive temper
• Constant criticism/ giving orders
• Possessive of time spent with friends and family
• Extreme mood swings
• Blaming others, name-calling
• Alcohol/ drug abuse
• Using force or violence to “solve” problems
Source: Tri-County Resource Center
Domestic violence awareness events
• Oct. 5, Hotchkiss, Kids Pasta Project benefit dinner, Scenic Mesa Ranch, 6 p.m. Reservations required at kidspastaproject@gmail.com. Info: www.kidspastaproject.org
• Oct. 27, Montrose, community forum on domestic violence, from 9 to 11 a.m. at the Holiday Inn Express. All are welcome.
• Oct. 27, Delta, community forum on domestic violence, from 1 to 3 p.m. at Bill Heddles Recreation Center. All are welcome.
• Oct. 28: Dine Out Against Domestic Violence. Participating restaurants (to be announced) will donate a percentage of proceeds to Tri-County Resources
• Be respectful of others, the writer and the subjects in the story.
• Be relevant. Keep your comments on point.
• See the guidelines for TalkAbout. Perhaps your comment is best for that community forum, available from the home page, instead of commenting on a particular story.
Comment posters are responsible for the opinions they express and the accuracy of the information they provide. We urge comment writers to treat this as a public forum where manners matter. We encourage a collegial, non-insulting tone. All readers comments must be approved by our staff before posting to the Web site. Be aware, in accordance with the Communications Decency Act and provisions upheld in judicial appeal, that you are responsible for comments posted on this Web site. Montrose Press is not liable for messages from third parties.
DO NOT POST:
* Potentially libelous statements or damaging innuendo.
* Obscene, explicit, or racist language.
* Personal attacks, insults or threats.
* The use of another person's real name to disguise your identity.
* Comments unrelated to the story.
Opinions, advice and all other information expressed in montrosepress.com's reader comments represent the individual's own views and not necessarily those of the Montrose Press. Montrose Press does not endorse and is not responsible for statements, advice or opinions offered by anyone other than authorized Montrose Press spokespersons.
Thank you for your comments!