Coping with Grief

MONTROSE — When Debbie Vigil went to pick her daughters up from Camp Good Grief recently, she couldn’t pull them away from their newfound friends — quite a change from when she first told them that they would be attending the camp.

Abby Funke, 13, admits that she didn’t know what to expect: “I was scared, nervous and worried about what the other kids would be like — I didn’t want to go.”

Her sister, Danielle, 9 had mixed feelings.  “At first I was so excited, I had never been to a camp before, but talking with my sister made me a little nervous,” she said.

Abby and Danielle lost their father, John Funke, just two months before attending Hospice & Palliative Care of Western Colorado’s annual grief camp for kids. Now the two girls are the biggest advocates for getting other kids to attend.

From the moment the girls arrived at camp, they began feeling more at ease. “Once I saw the people I felt more comfortable and my buddy was really, really nice. She helped me get used to things because it was her first time too,” Abby said.

Camp Good Grief takes place at Camp Cedaredge on the Grand Mesa. Each child is paired up with an adult buddy who remains with the child throughout the weekend.

While the kids have a great deal of fun, they also learn coping skills for dealing with the death of a loved one.

In 2009 Camp Good Grief had a record number of 82 kids. Many of them became fast friends with the Funke girls.

“When I picked them up at the bus after camp, they were all hugging and having such a great time together,” Vigil said.

Even after camp ended Abby has stayed in contact with several kids she connected with. Abby said that connecting with other kids who have experienced a loss has helped her to realize some things.

“No matter how bad you think things are, there may be others going through stuff too,” she said.

As for Danielle, Vigil said attending camp helped in many ways. “Camp was a very positive experience for both girls, and it has helped Danielle to talk more and open up.”

Both girls agree that the coping skills that they learned at camp have helped them since they returned, and a few special mementos help them honor their dad’s memory.

“This is my lucky bracelet,” Danielle said, pointing to the colorful bracelet she wears every day. “It says ‘I love my dad John.’ One day I thought that I lost it and had a very hard day at school. It is my good luck charm.”

Abby too, has a special bracelet with her dad’s name that she made at Camp Good Grief.

“We also made frames for pictures of our lost loved ones,” says Danielle. “I made one of my dad and put fishing stuff on it because me and my dad went fishing together in 2007 and it was a special day.”

Abby said she wants to make sure that other kids who may be worried about going understand that Camp Good Grief is a fun and helpful experience.

“Just go,” Abby said. “You get to meet new people who are friendly and understand how you are feeling.”

Vigil, Abby, Danielle and their older sister Ashley all plan to volunteer to help with Camp Good Grief next year. This spring Ashley, 15, will attend Teen Retreat — a weekend grief camp for teens coping with death of a loved one.

For more information on Camp Good Grief, Itty Bitty Camp or Teen Retreat contact the Hospice Child & Teen Program at (970) 245-5377.